


Five Times Alec Isn’t Sure About Their Relationship and One Time He Is

by notcrypticbutcoy



Series: Celebrity!Magnus AU [6]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Budding Love, Cop!Alec, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Malec, celebrity!magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 02:43:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18065051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notcrypticbutcoy/pseuds/notcrypticbutcoy
Summary: Going on a date with a celebrity like Magnus Bane is one thing. Having the whole world find out about it is quite another, and it’s not a Pandora’s Box Alec is ready to open just yet.Or: In which Magnus and Alec are both besotted, Alec is worried about the press, and Isabelle is a good sister.





	Five Times Alec Isn’t Sure About Their Relationship and One Time He Is

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I’m back with another part to this meandering, non-chronological series of randomness. This one follows immediately on from the first part in the series - Five Times They Didn’t (Officially) Go On a Date and One Time They Did. (What is capitalisation who knows?)
> 
> You can find the brand new shiny masterlist for the chronology of this series [here](http://notcrypticbutcoy.tumblr.com/post/183361586466/celebritymagnus-au-notcrypticbutcoy-mortal) ! If you want to read it in order of chronology rather than in order of posting, that’ll give you the right order :) 
> 
> Enjoy!

1.

Isabelle was sitting on his kitchen counter, swinging her legs back and forth like she used to as a little girl while stealing bits of food Alec was trying to put in a stir fry for Sunday lunch, and swigging an extortionately large glass of wine in between interrogating him about his second date with Magnus.

"Alec, come on," she said, rolling her eyes as he evaded another question that got a little too personal for his comfort. "After the first one you claimed you didn't want to gossip at work, and now we're not at work and you're still not answering my questions."

Alec pointed a vegetable knife at her. "I am not talking about whether or not we kissed. I have boundaries."

Setting her glass down with a clack, Isabelle huffed. "I don’t want to know whether or not you kissed, that’s weird. You’re my brother. I just want to know how it went, and whether you like him, and whether you’re happy. Jace tells me about his dates with Clary."

"Jace also tells me about his dates with Clary, and I don't ask. In fact, I actively discourage those conversations."

Isabelle fixed him with the kind of glare that was horribly reminiscent of those Maryse used to send him, before she and his father had thrown him out after they'd found him making out with his high school boyfriend in his bedroom.

Raj had been the most exciting part of his teenage years, and was one of the few things Alec still looked back on with some degree of fondness. He didn't regret it. He certainly didn't regret failing a Classics class because he'd either ditched to make out behind the bleachers or spent the entire lesson fucking around with Raj in the back row. He didn't even regret being caught by his mother.

Maybe he should look up Raj on Instagram, he thought, absently, as he scraped a pile of chopped onion into a pan.

"Look, Alec, clearly something is on your mind, and I'm trying to let you talk about it because I know how you like to bottle things up. I don’t want all the sordid details and I am not trying to invade your privacy. Promise. I won’t push you to tell me anything you don’t want to. But you're stressing about something. So. Date. Rate it from one to ten."

Alec sighed heavily. After the unbridled success of their first official date, Alec had invited Magnus out to see a horror film at the cinema—he'd seen Magnus post on Twitter about how much he wanted to see it, so it had felt like a suitable thing to do. They'd grabbed dinner afterwards at an all-night taco joint. Alec had gone home with his heart soaring, lips tingling from a kiss they'd shared in the dim light of the cinema right after the movie had finished, the phantom imprint of Magnus' fingers tangled through his during the whole thing still burning into his skin.

Horror movies were a fantastic invention, Alec had decided. They'd spent the entire thing pressed close, gasping and making aborted noises of alarm and muffling giggles in each other's shoulders at how fucking ridiculous it all was.

"Off the charts," Alec admitted, drizzling olive oil over the array of vegetables and shaking the pan before he turned to the chicken sizzling in a mix of spices. Time would tell whether he’d picked a recipe that produced edible results. He didn’t have a fucking clue.

"Then what's the problem?" Isabelle asked, frowning at him when he slapped her hand away before she could interfere with the rice. He loved Isabelle, but cooking was not her forte, and his mother had agreed to allow Max over to his for Sunday lunch. If he gave his little brother food poisoning, he probably wouldn't get to see him for the next four months.

"I don't know," Alec said, exhaling. "Everything."

Isabelle raised an eyebrow. "Everything?"

"It's not like all the things I was worried about before I went on a date with him have just disappeared now I'm even more infatuated," Alec muttered, turning the heat down a little when the pan started spitting hot oil. "He's out of my league, he's famous, he's rich, he's got his shit together. He could have anyone he wants. Someone is going to take a photo of us, eventually, and I'll be involved in rumours and publicity that I don't want. I don't want people speculating about whether I'm a gold-digging whore. I don't want some stupid tabloid pointing out all my flaws and making him realise that he could do better."

"Woah." Isabelle was staring at him, eyes a little wide. "You're really serious about him, aren't you?"

"What?" Alec's eyebrows furrowed distractedly. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"You've been on two dates. But you're thinking about all that. You like him."

"Yeah. I guess I do. Who wouldn't?"

"Okay." Isabelle's voice turned soft. "I want you to do something for me."

"What?"

"I want you to stop overthinking. You like Magnus. Clearly, he likes you. If you two like each other enough to want to fight for this, you'll find a way to make it work. But for now, just enjoy getting to know him. Yeah?"

Alec exhaled heavily. "Yeah. You're right. Thank you."

Isabelle smiled just as the buzzer rang and someone - someone who was obviously Jace - banged heavily on the door. "Anytime, big brother."

She leapt off the counter to let Jace and Max in, and Alec smiled at the sound of his siblings greeting each other. He could hear Clary, too, but Simon was late—as per usual. Not that he minded. He'd known Simon for long enough to be able to forgive him, and besides, he wasn't going to complain at a little longer for quiet and sanity before Lewis turned up with his madness.

"Hey, Alec!" he heard Max shout. Shouting in his tiny little studio apartment was really very unnecessary. It wasn't difficult to hear someone from opposite ends of the place talking at a normal volume.

"Hey, Max." Alec turned away from their lunch for a moment to give his brother a hug, ruffling the back of his hair and making Max scowl at him.

It only lasted for a moment, however, before Max was shooting him a devious little grin that instantly made Alec wary. That look meant trouble.

"Guess who we ran into?" Max asked innocently, and Alec felt dread settle in the pit of his stomach.

"Who?"

"Your boyfriend," Max said, and shoved his hand over Alec's mouth before Alec could protest. Magnus was not his boyfriend. They'd just been on a couple of dates. That was it.

Alec was totally obsessed with him, but that was beside the point. The feeling wasn't mutual. They were just...enjoying spending time together. And kissing. God, kissing Magnus was fucking amazing. He'd only kissed him three times, and each one had been better than every other kiss he'd had in his life put together.

_Fuck, I'm so whipped._

"Really," Alec said, deadpan, as he turned back to the stove to turn the chicken over before it got cooked unevenly. "That is genuinely shocking."

"I know, imagine running into the same person twice in a city the size of New York." Max smirked. "Anyway, you want to know what he said?"

"Not particularly," he lied. He wanted to know everything Magnus said. Even if it had nothing to do with him.

"He told us to tell you that accepting his Instagram follow request won't put you in the tabloids, if that's what’s making you ignore it. Also that he promises not to judge any potentially embarrassing photos. And that you’re allowed to follow him, because this is the twenty-first century."

"He didn’t actually say that," Clary added, from where she was hanging up her coat and flirting with Jace by the doorway as though they thought that was far enough away to hide them from prying eyes. "He said all of it except the last bit."

Alec rolled his eyes, but he felt a flush rise up his neck. He told himself it was just the heat of the kitchen. He knew he was lying to himself.

"Firstly," he said, in his best impression of a superior older brother who knew far more about the world than his fifteen-year-old brother and his twenty-one-year-old brother’s twenty-year-old girlfriend—which he did, obviously, but not where social media was concerned, "I'm not ignoring it. I'm just...considering it. Secondly, the most embarrassing thing is the difference between his account and mine. Mine is..."

"Completely ordinary, like you," Max said impatiently. "He's not expecting glitz and glam, for fuck's sake."

"Language."

"Hypocrite," Max said, and stuck his tongue out. "You know I'm right. If he wanted to date someone like him, he'd date a celebrity or one of his models or someone who wears the kind of stuff he produces, not a cop. You're just being insecure."

"You're right, Max," Isabelle said, waltzing into the kitchen with Simon trailing after her, eyes flickering over the way her deep blue jeans hugged her ass. Alec glared at him. "Don't punish Magnus for your own hang ups, bro."

"I really think you're overreacting about this." Alec scooped out a forkful of rice to test it, and turned off the heat. "It's an Instagram follow, not an engagement ring. Now stop talking about my love life. Lunch is ready."

The announcement was met by varying levels of somewhat uncalled for enthusiasm, particularly from Max, who constantly complained about the lack of good food at home.

Alec ushered his siblings and their significant others over to the sofas, because he certainly didn't have room in his apartment for a kitchen table that seated six people, while his mind lingered on Magnus.

His siblings were probably right. He probably was overthinking things. He just couldn't help it. It had been so long since he'd last been on anything better than one disastrous date, and he'd never been quite so enraptured as he was by Magnus. But he couldn't shake the hesitation, the worry.

As he opened his fridge to pull out some beer, and a coke for Max and Clary, he slid his phone out his pocket, navigating through to his Instagram app. In his notifications, Magnus' follow request sat where it had for the last three days, taunting him with Magnus' fucking gorgeous face in the little circle displaying his profile picture.

Hating himself for being such a coward, Alec hit accept, then follow back, and clicked his phone off before he could second guess himself, or panic and do something totally moronic, like block Magnus.

Max was right. Magnus knew what he was like, at least on a basic level. There was no way he could expect to look at his Instagram page and see anything spectacular. Besides, it was just social media. It wasn't anything important.

Sure—it was another thing that marked how different he and Magnus were. It showcased the fact that they came from totally different worlds, and totally different backgrounds, and frequented totally different social circles, and—

"Alec!" Jace hollered—again, unnecessarily, because—

"For fuck's sake, Jace, I'm literally three metres away from you, zip it!"

***

2.

Fingers wrapped around his cardboard coffee cup, eyes roaming distractedly across the inelegant swoops of his name written on the side in black marker, Alec nodded along to what Magnus was saying.

He glanced up as Magnus delivered the punchline to his story, and smiled faintly even as the humour fell flat between them. Across the table, Magnus paused, brows furrowing as he watched Alec carefully.

"Hey." Magnus ducked his head in an attempt to catch his eye. "Are you okay?"

Alec offered him a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Magnus titled his head to one side. Alec tried not to find it endearing. "Hard day at work?"

A shrug. "Not particularly."

Silence stretched out between them.

It was all Alec's fault, really. He was doing what Isabelle always told him off for, and bottling things up because he didn't want to deal with them. They'd been going out on little dates like this for six weeks, texting sporadically, stealing kisses in cafés and the backs of cinemas, but nothing was serious. Alec had never seen Magnus' apartment, or house, or whatever rich people lived in. Magnus had never seen Alec's. They'd never broached the subject.

It was just...casual. Low pressure. Easy. Alec liked how laid back Magnus was about things. He liked that he wasn't being pushed into corners or held to standards he knew he couldn't reach or being crushed under the weight of expectations.

But maybe Alec was a little too keen on keeping it casual. Maybe it was starting to get to the stage where it couldn't continue like this. The tense atmosphere between them was certainly indicative of that, whatever Alec wanted to tell himself.

Also, Magnus was so fucking gorgeous that Alec wanted to shove him up against a wall and make him moan for hours. Sue him.

"Alec." A ring-laden hand covered his where it was resting in the table. The touch was delicate, gentle, and something about the combination of Magnus' hand on his and the deep softness of his voice made Alec's chest ache. "If it's personal, you can tell me to back off, but this–" he gestured between them with his free hand "–isn't just some meaningless fun for me. I'm serious about seeing where this might go. I want you to know that you can talk to me, if you want to. I'm not asking you to spill your darkest secrets, because I know this is new, but—"

"It's about earlier," Alec blurted out, and immediately hated himself for it. Heat stained his cheeks red, and he dropped his head, cursing himself. Now Magnus was going to think that he was totally stupid when he had to explain himself. Because it was stupid.

A frown marred Magnus' beautiful face. "What?"

"Earlier. When you..." Alec hesitated, searching for the words. "When you met me after work."

Magnus nodded when Alec looked up at him, listening intently but not interrupting.

"I didn't expect you to come to the station. I didn't expect all my colleagues to...see you. And us. Together."

"Oh." Magnus' voice came out quietly. "I didn't realise. I thought you were out at work."

"I am," Alec said hastily, shaking his head. "I’m out to everyone. It's not that, it's just—"

"Me?" Magnus suggested, a small, bitter smile curling at one corner of his mouth, and Alec flinched at how that sounded spoken aloud. It sounded like Alec was embarrassed by Magnus, but he wasn't. Not Magnus himself. Just—

"No, no, I don’t mean it like that," Alec told him, desperate to turn his hand up beneath Magnus' and squeeze his fingers but not quite having the courage. "But people knew who you were, and people kept looking at me like I'd grown a second head, and I've already got two texts from people I barely speak to asking how I know you, and I just—" He stopped, inhaling deeply, and let his eyes close for a moment. "I'm sorry. That sounds terrible."

"No, I understand." Magnus' smile turned a little less bitter, more genuine, but it was sad—and that was worse. "You're a private sort of person, and you don't want that kind of attention."

"I'm really sorry."

"Don't be." Magnus swallowed visibly, and looked down at where he was holding Alec's hand. "It's okay. I love my job, and my life, but sometimes I regret how the publicity side of it affects my personal life."

"Magnus—"

"I want to give this a chance to work," Magnus said, with devastating sincerity. "I like you. More than I've liked anyone for a while. I just don't want to have to choose between my job and the chance at a relationship that could mean something special to me."

"And you shouldn’t ever have to. I would never want you to. I want to persevere with this, us, too. I just–" Alec flipped his hand over beneath Magnus', and slotted their fingers together. Magnus squeezed gently; Alec's heart felt warm. "I don't know how I'm going to deal with...that. Or whether I can. So, for now, can we just keep it..."

"On the down-low?" Magnus suggested.

"Yeah."

"We can try." Worry flashed in Magnus' eyes, and Alec felt a desperate urge to make it go away. "But I can't promise you we won't get seen by the wrong person at the wrong time, darling. I don't control the media."

"I know. I'm sorry, this probably seems really unreasonable, I—"

Magnus shook his head vehemently. "No, it doesn't. It's completely understandable."

They went back to lighter conversation after that, falling into their easy pattern of Magnus talking and making Alec laugh, and then prompting Alec to talk in return. Alec had always found it easier to listen than to speak, but Magnus seemed to want him to open up. And he was a fantastic listener. Alec found himself speaking to Magnus more candidly than he had to anyone he wasn't related to for a long time.

But when they finished their coffee and decided to head out, and Magnus pressed a soft, sweet kiss to his lips in farewell, Alec couldn't help glancing around them in mild paranoia when his date withdrew and waved to him as he departed. It would only take one photograph for things to blow up, and he really, really wasn't ready for it yet.

He wasn't ready to share an inch of himself with the world.

***

3.

A trip to visit Buckingham Palace had never really been on Alec's bucket list.

After seeing Magnus' loft in the classiest neighbourhood in Brooklyn, however, Alec had a feeling that even if he did go, he'd been sorely disappointed.

He found himself struck mute as Magnus opened the door and smiled at him—and, for once, it wasn't Magnus himself causing his hopefully temporary inability to speak or function like a semi-normal human being.

Magnus' place was huge, was the first thing Alec noticed. It had to be at least ten times the size of his—although considering his own apartment could only fit the bare essentials at a stretch, that wasn't really saying much. He lived in a glorified closet. The irony of that didn’t escape him.

The place was beautifully decorated. It was largely open plan, except the two sets of doors along the side, one of which Alec presumed had to lead to Magnus' bedroom, with furniture grouped together in carelessly tidy little sections. An incredibly comfortable looking black sofa sat in front of a large flatscreen TV, and Alec was struck by a horribly vivid image of making out with Magnus on it.

He had to look away, and instead admired the tall bookshelves and the tidbits dotted around that made the place look lived in. Asymmetrical stacks of books on a coffee table beside two empty mugs, a scarf tossed over the back of the sofa, a pen dropped atop an open notebook.

"Welcome to Chateau Bane," Magnus said, offering him the sort of warm smile that melted Alec's insides and turned them to goo. "Come in. Make yourself at home. Watch out for—"

A loud meow came from below Alec's field of vision, and he glanced down to catch sight of a quick-moving ball of brown fur in his peripheries, before something leapt on his combat boot, scratching at the laces. He blinked down at the tiny little cat trying to claw its way through his shoe, before one corner of his lips lifted. It was cute.

"–the cat," Magnus finished, with an exasperated sigh. "Honestly, Chairman, do you have to do this every time I have a guest over? It's a terrible first impression."

And, okay, if Magnus talking to his cat like it was human - and the cat blinking up at him with huge eyes as though it could actually fucking understand him - was the cutest thing Alec had ever seen, he wasn't about to admit it. He was a grown man.

"He's sweet," Alec said, bending down the scratch behind the cat's ears. "What's his name? Chairman?"

"For short. Chairman Meow."

Alec peered up at Magnus, one eye squinted. "You named your adorable little cat after a horrible dictator."

"Yes?"

"Poor cat," Alec said, and Chairman Meow purred in apparent agreement, nudging his head into Alec's hand. "I'd like to officially question my choice in men."

Magnus' lips turned up as he closed the door, and he strode across the floor to pick up the two coffee mugs on the side table. "My choice in men appears to be absolutely fantastic. If my cat likes you, you've passed the biggest test. You've now met the family. Success, darling."

"What about your friends?" Alec asked, straightening up as he toed off his boots, not wanting to be rude and tread filth from the streets of New York all over Magnus' gorgeous apartment. "Ragnor and Raphael and Catarina?"

Magnus waved a hand dismissively. "Please. Ragnor already loves you because you turn me into such a complete idiot, Catarina has very similar opinions to my cat, and Raphael hates everyone. Besides, I set the bar fairly low with my last relationship."

Alec quirked an eyebrow. He didn't want to invade Magnus' privacy, but nor could he let that comment just hang in the air ignored. "Oh?"

"Oh, it was a total disaster," Magnus said, laughing. "He was married, to a woman. We met at a gay bar and hit it off, so I had no idea. He'd set up this whole fake social media account to convince me that he was just a normal guy, and then a fan sent me a photo of him on his wedding day. I thought it had to be some past relationship I hadn't known about. Oh, no." Magnus shook his head. "You know what this dickhead was doing?"

Alec shook his head, enraptured, as he always was, by Magnus' story.

"His wife was sick," Magnus said, "and so rather than supporting her, he'd decided to go out into the world and explore his sexuality. For when she was gone."

"Oh my god." Alec felt his eyes widen in horror. "That's terrible."

"It is," Magnus agreed. "And the media had a field day with it when they found out. I felt terrible."

"You couldn't have known."

"Maybe. I ended it as soon as I found out, of course." A spark of mischief flashed in Magnus' eyes. "So if you're hiding any wives or girlfriends, Alexander, please let me know now."

"No." A laugh bubbled up out of his throat, unbidden, the look in Magnus' eyes infectious. "I'm very, very gay."

"No secret boyfriends or husbands, either?"

"I’m also very single."

Magnus grinned at him, and tipped his chin up slightly to kiss his cheek. "Excellent."

Alec was certain that exactly how gay he felt was directly proportional to how much time he spent with Magnus Bane.

***

It was raining when Magnus and Alec stepped out of the museum, having strolled through the exhibition with their hands brushing and teasing together. Alec hadn't quite had the courage to take Magnus' hand in such a public setting—although photography was banned in the exhibition itself.

Alec glanced over at Magnus as they stood just beyond the threshold of the door, protected from the slashing rain by the overhang of the roof. Lightening forked in the distance, followed by a rocketing crash of thunder that seemed to make the ground shake and tremble beneath them.

The look on Magnus' face made his heart rate surge with excitement. Magnus' eyes were bright, warm, filled with the sort of eager anticipation that made Alec want to kiss him. Repeatedly. For hours. Until neither of them could breathe.

Magnus Bane was an exceptionally good kisser. Alec found himself fantasising about kissing Magnus far more than was appropriate.

"How far away is your apartment?" Magnus asked, lips twitching upwards and eyes crinkling in the beginnings of a barely contained grin.

"Five minute walk. Why?"

Magnus' eyes gleamed. "How do you feel about a dash through the rain?"

"You want to run through the rain back to my apartment?" Alec asked, feeling his own expression begin to match Magnus', his excitement contagious. "Hell yes."

Magnus stepped out from underneath the shelter of the building, spreading his arms out wide as he walked backwards and tipped his head back to let the rain wash over his bronze skin in tantalising rivulets that Alec wanted to follow with his mouth and lick off his skin.

A laugh bubbled up Magnus' throat. He snapped his eyes to Alec's, and held out a hand.

"Let's go, pretty boy."

Alec felt himself flush at the name, but he didn't hesitate to reach out and clasp Magnus' hand in his, their fingers lacing together as Alec moved out to join him. The rain instantly began to slick his hair to his head, cold water dousing him and soaking through his clothes, but he didn't care. Magnus' hand in his, the feeling of fire and affection and spontaneous _fun_ that passed between them, was more than enough to keep him warm.

"Lead the way, my dashing detective."

They dashed through the streets, taxis honking at them as Alec dragged Magnus between the cars rolling slowly through the gridlocked streets. Rainwater splashed around their feet as their shoes slapped against the floor, the darkness of nighttime shrouding them as they ducked into an alleyway, breathless laugher escaping them.

"I haven't had this much fun on a date in years," Magnus said, panting a little from the exertion of running and laughing.

"Ditto," Alec told him, glancing over his shoulder to shoot Magnus a grin.

He didn't know how the fuck this had happened, Detective Lightwood, New York City cop, running through the streets at night with Magnus Bane as his date, but he wasn't going to attempt to correct the cataclysmic error had been made up above by whatever puppet master controlled this shit show of a world.

He was just going to enjoy it, for however long it lasted.

"Here," Alec said, veering off to the side and punching in the number to let them into the foyer of his apartment building.

Magnus dropped his hand when they reached Alec's door, and Alec shouldered it open, flicking on the lights.

"You'd better have hot chocolate in here," Magnus said as he stepped inside, shivering a little at the warmth of the apartment in comparison to the cold night outside, which was made worse by their sodden states. "I'm freezing."

Alec threw a wry smile over his shoulder. "Whose idea was it to run through the rain instead of getting a taxi?"

"I fail to see your point, Alexander," Magnus told him, and stuck his tongue out.

"I've got hot chocolate," Alec said. He rolled his eyes a little, but there was a smile curling at his lips. Magnus was every bit as ridiculous as Alec had expected him to be - more so - but Alec hadn't anticipated how much he'd like it. "Make yourself at home. It's a bit chaotic. I had my siblings over."

"Oh, no." Magnus chuckled. "You should ask Ragnor about what my first apartment looked like. It was a mess. This? This is impeccable."

Alec glanced over at Magnus from where he was standing in his tiny little excuse for a kitchen, and he felt, at once, that Magnus looked horribly out of place.

He was the most fashionable thing in the room, and, while Alec knew approximately nothing about clothes, beyond whether or not they looked good, it was obvious even to him that Magnus' were probably worth more than the entire contents of his apartment.

Magnus flopped down on Alec's sofa, stretching out like a cat with his arms reaching up above his head as he yawned. It looked too small. All of it looked too small. Alec's tiny fucking apartment could fit into Magnus' ten times. More. It was so disproportionate.

"I need to invest in a squishy sofa," Magnus said, groaning and sinking himself into it. "I want to steal this. It's so comfy."

Alec smiled faintly, trying to push away those invasive thoughts telling him that this was never going to work, that they were too different, too financially separate, too—

"That's probably because Jace's backside has been on it so much. He likes to invade my clearly limited personal space to whine about his heterosexual relationship problems. He usually leaves whining more because I'm not sympathetic enough."

The comment seemed to startle a laugh out of Magnus. When Alec chanced a glance over his shoulder, Magnus' eyes twinkled with amusement, and perhaps something a little deeper. Fondness. Affection. Whatever it was, it made Alec's heart turn over.

"I bet you're plenty sympathetic when you need to be," Magnus said, the words coming oddly gently.

Alec shrugged, stirring sugar into their hot chocolate. He picked up the mugs and headed over to Magnus, passing him one. Magnus bent his legs up so that Alec could sit down on the end of the sofa, and smiled at him.

For several seconds, they were quiet, blowing across their drinks as steam curdled up into the air and sipping intermittently, the sound coming loudly in the silence between them.

"Magnus?"

"Mm?"

"Isn't this...weird?" Alec looked up at him. "For you?"

Magnus raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Dating...a cop."

"I'm dating a detective," Magnus said, dropping him a wink that made Alec's stomach swoop. "It's not weird, it's sexy."

Alec couldn't help letting out a snort. "Being a detective is not sexy."

"Sure it is." Magnus nudged him lightly in the thigh with his sock-clad toes. "You fight bad guys and you help people who need it. That's sexy."

"You have a weird idea of sexy."

Magnus shrugged. "Also your face, and the rest of your gorgeous self. That's particularly sexy. Oh, and any potential future uses of handcuffs."

Reluctantly, Alec let out a little laugh at that, and saw Magnus smile in satisfaction through his peripherals.

"That's not what I meant, though. I meant– We're so different. I mean, look at my apartment and look at yours."

"I don't come from money," Magnus said. "I come from very little. I don't judge people for how much they earn. I judge people for how hard they work and for what sort of person they are. Most importantly, I judge them by how they treat others. The rest is secondary."

"Is it, though?" Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Alec looked up at him, insecurities playing through his mind. "In reality?"

"Alexander." Magnus set his mug down and knelt up on the sofa, knees folded beneath him as he watched Alec with devastating intensity. "I don't care how much money you earn or how big your apartment is or how many followers you've got on social media. I like you. A lot more than I should when we've been dating for three months."

"I like you, too. I just–" Alec bit his lip. "I guess I just don't want you, or anyone else, thinking I'm...after your money."

"But you're not." Magnus' voice was soft as he reached out to brush the backs of his fingers against Alec's jaw. "It's so easy to tell when the only reason people want to befriend me or date me is for my money. I know you're not one of those people."

Alec couldn't help the way he closed his eyes against the feeling of Magnus' fingers on his face. The fingers spread out, stretching until Magnus' palm was laying flat against his cheek, thumb brushing back and forth against his skin and igniting trails of warmth everywhere it touched.

"Magnus?" Alec whispered, and his eyelids fluttered open to look at him, suddenly so much closer than he had been; close enough for Alec to count every eyelash.

Magnus' tongue darted out to wet his lips, but his eyes were fixed on Alec's. "Yeah?"

"Are we exclusive?"

"On my end, yes. I haven’t had any interest in anyone else since practically the day I met you."

Alec let out a sigh. "Thank god. Ditto."

And he leant forwards to close the achingly large distance between them, lips melting together. He turned on the sofa, both of them kneeling as they kissed lazily, languidly, pulling each other closer but not pressing for more.

Alec's fingers trailed across Magnus' shoulders, one hand reaching up to brush lightly through his damp hair, the other trailing down to grip at his sopping wet shirt, pushing up underneath it to press his palm flat against Magnus' lower back.

Magnus broke away from his lips slowly, and began trailing kisses along his jaw and down, following the chord of his neck to his clavicle. Alec let his head fall back, letting out a soft rumbling sound that originated in the back of his throat at Magnus' attention.

Eager to feel Magnus' lips on his again, he slid his index finger beneath Magnus' chin and dipped his head to meet him halfway, too impatient to wait for Magnus to straighten up.

"You have no idea," Magnus murmured between kisses, "how much I wanted to kiss you while we were at that damn museum."

"I feel like that all the time," Alec said. "You're too attractive for your own good."

Magnus let out a laugh. "Thank you. I think."

"Shh. Less talking, more kissing."

"Mmm." Magnus pressed his laugh into Alec's neck, shoulders shaking lightly. "I think we can manage that."

And so Alec lost himself in Magnus' touch, allowing his concerns to disappear, shrouded beneath a blanket of hazy pleasure and the comforting warmth of kisses.

***

4.

When Alec walked into work on Friday morning, more than ready for the weekend to begin after a long, arduous week, he felt eyes following him from the receptionist's desk. He glanced over at her. She averted her gaze instantly, pretending to tap at her keyboard.

Alec's eyebrows drew together, but he thought little of it, continuing through and up to his floor, passing the woman who worked in forensic pathology and was mentoring Isabelle on his way up. She offered him an odd sort of smile, gaze lingering a little longer than was entirely normal.

People kept looking at him as he walked from the stairs to his desk, their attention flickering away from their work to scan over him like he was something in a museum that required their scrutiny.

"Good morning, Alec," Lydia said, and, thank all that was holy, she didn't so much as glance up from her computer screen. She never did. She wasn't one for small talk and inane chatter and mindless gossip; Alec liked that about her. She was a decent boss.

"Morning," Alec said, flopping down in his chair at the desk a few metres away from Lydia's and logging onto his computer. "Do you know if Luke is in yet?"

"I don't think he went home," Lydia told him, frowning as she scrolled through something. "A man came in with a rape case last night. It was nasty."

"Shit." Alec looked away from his emails. "Against a woman or a man?"

"You've got a run down report in your emails," Lydia said, "because Luke wants you on this one. Against a woman."

Alec groaned, rubbing at his temples. "And here I was thinking I might have a quiet weekend and get to go on a date without work constantly in the back of my mind."

"Yeah." Lydia turned away from her computer and fixed him with a piercing look. "About that."

Alec's lips parted a little and he titled his head in question. "What? Why is everyone being so weird today? Did Jace and Max come and put up pictures of me in ninth grade around the precinct?"

Lydia exhaled heavily, setting her pen down and rolling her chair towards Alec so that she could lower her voice as she spoke. "Look, I know I'm not exactly the most up and know it on pop culture, but I think everyone in the city who has a social media account saw what happened last night."

"What are you talking about?"

"You really didn't see it?" Lydia asked, and Alec shook his head, utterly bewildered. "Someone posted a picture on Instagram last night, of Magnus Bane kissing a man in the street."

Alec's heart thudded heavily, pounding against his ribs, adrenaline and panic rushing through him. No, no, no. He was not going to be plastered all over the Internet. He couldn't be. He was not ready for people to start nosing into his life.

Unless Lydia didn't mean him. Unless Lydia meant that there was someone else Magnus had been caught kissing—and she was trying to tell him gently.

No. He was overthinking. He'd been reading too much bullshit on the Internet. Magnus would never go around kissing someone else when he and Alec had discussed being exclusive. He just wasn't that sort of person.

"It was picked up by some online journalist pretty quickly. It didn't exactly go viral, but enough people saw it. Then someone on Twitter—"

Lydia shook her head and pulled her phone out of her pocket, unlocking it with her thumb and passing it over to Alec, open to her Twitter app.

_@maybemagic_bane: @magnusbane would you ever date a fan?_

_@magnusbane: @maybemagic_bane not while someone else is claiming that spot ;)_

"He can't have seen the article," Lydia said, when Alec stared up at her in wide-eyed horror. "But this and the article made all his fans go wild, realising that the man in the photo was someone more than casual."

"So the Internet found out who I was and now the whole office knows." Alec let his eyes fall closed, moaning in frustration. "Brilliant."

Lydia watched him, sympathy on her face. "It was going to happen at some point, you know."

"I don't want to have to decide."

"Between Magnus and privacy?" Lydia arched an eyebrow. "Alec, Magnus makes you happy. Happier than I've ever seen you. You talk about him and your whole face lights up. It's actually quite disgusting."

Alec tossed a screwed up ball of paper at her, and Lydia laughed as it dropped harmlessly into her lap. She stood up from her chair and looped it into the bin at the end of the room, grinning when it flew in.

"Good shot."

"Nuh-uh." She pointed a finger at him. "No deflecting. I want you to promise me something."

With perhaps a touch more melodrama than was entirely necessary, Alec sighed, rolling his eyes. "What?"

"That you won't go home tonight and break up with that poor man. If your mood over the last three months has been any indication, Magnus is good for you."

"You've never met him."

"No, but I've met you, and I work with you. Happiness looks good on you. So just...persevere, okay? I'm not saying it's going to be easy and plain sailing, but...try."

"I wasn't just going to dump him," Alec muttered, turning back to his computer as he heard the distinctive tread of Luke's footsteps on the stairs. "He deserves more than that."

He saw Lydia smile victoriously through his peripherals. She didn't say another word.

But none of it stopped Alec's mind whirring, thoughts spinning through his mind and worries interrupting him as he tried to work, until his stomach was churning with nerves that made him feel faintly sick.

***

**[From: Magnus Bane, 20:13]**

**If you don’t want to see me again, I understand, but if you want to talk, I have a conference call at half eight, and then I should be home by ten. Give me a call, if it's not too late for you x**

Alec couldn't count the number of times he'd read over the text in the last few hours. He'd seen it as he left work, having spent all day on Luke's case, interviewing the man in question and prying for horrible details that nobody wanted to have to extract, but, nevertheless, had to, if they wanted to get anywhere with the investigation.

As always, with rape cases, it had stirred up a storm of controversy among officers—but even more so because it was a man making the accusation. Alec had wanted to shoot someone every time someone had raised the question, apparently innocently, about whether or not the man was gay—as though that had anything to do with it.

Part of him just wanted to go home, scoff down some Chinese take-out, collapse into bed and block out the world around him. He didn't want to look at social media. He didn't want to know whether he was overreacting - being the latest arm-candy of a celebrity didn't really make him front page worthy, except perhaps on some stupid trashy tabloid - and he especially didn't want to know whether he was justified in his minor freak-out.

But he wanted to see Magnus. Desperately. In part, he couldn't deny, because he wanted to talk about all this bullshit, but also just because, even if they'd only known each other for a handful of months, Magnus never failed to make him feel better after a shitty day. Considerably better.

So, rather than take the familiar route home by turning left after a trip to his favourite all-night Chinese diner, he turned right instead, and headed towards Magnus' apartment.

He jogged up the steps to ring the buzzer, heart thudding a little quicker than normal. Maybe he was being an idiot, going to see Magnus like this. Magnus had asked him to call, not turn up at his home unannounced.

But, apparently, Magnus didn't mind, because he was buzzed up, and he found Magnus standing in the doorway of his condo with a faint smile on his face.

He looked tired, Alec thought as he approached, but beautiful. He always looked beautiful. But Alec had never seen him so clearly just-back-from-work. He was still dressed in what Alec presumed he'd worn at work: narrow slate grey suit pants, loafers, and a tight black shirt with the top buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up. Alec just wanted to kiss him until neither of them could breathe, let alone remember anything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours.

"Hey," Magnus said, gently, tilting his head a little. "Come in."

"Thanks," Alec said, twisting his hands together as Magnus closed the door and headed towards his kitchen, pouring out a half measure of whiskey into two glasses and adding a generous topping of lemonade.

"I know you don't usually drink when you're working in the morning," Magnus said, handing him a glass, "but I thought you might appreciate a bit of a kick, just this once."

"Yeah." Alec sighed, taking a sip. "Thanks. I probably should have called to say I was coming, I just–" He faltered a little. "I really wanted to see you?"

It came out saturated with uncertainty, hesitation, self-doubt, a question rather than the statement it should have been. But that didn't make it any less true. He held Magnus' gaze, determined not to let him think that he wasn't entirely sincere, and watched as Magnus' expression melted, liquid soft in the muffled quiet of nighttime in a condo seated in the middle of New York City.

"Shall we sit?" Magnus asked, gesturing to the array of armchairs and sofas.

Alec nodded his agreement and followed Magnus onto a sofa, bringing his knees up after he'd kicked off his boots and Magnus his loafers. Magnus was barefoot, toenails painted a deep, dark red and curled slightly as he drew his legs up so he was sat in a mirror image of Alec.

"Elephant in the room?" Magnus said, taking a sip of his drink.

"The photo of us kissing? Yeah. I– People at work knew. I don't know whether they'd all seen for themselves, or whether a couple of people had seen and the news spread, but..."

"Probably the latter," Magnus said, dragging one painted fingernail around the rim of his glass, looking up at Alec from beneath his lashes. "They're more interested than a perfect stranger would be because they know you."

"You're probably right," Alec said, and exhaled. "Magnus, I don't– I told you before, I'm a private sort of person, and...this whole publicity thing doesn't really appeal to me. But it's not like I'm going to turn into an A list celebrity overnight."

"No," Magnus agreed, "but I understand that the thought of having vulture-like journalists digging into your life and posting pictures of you and me and scrutinising you when they're running out of more important things to publish isn't going to be pleasant."

Alec smiled a little. "It's not. But you mean a lot to me. This means a lot to me. It's been a while since I've been in a relationship, and this is- this is worth it. You're worth it."

Tears sprang to Magnus' eyes, and Alec sat up in alarm, horrified.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"Shh," Magnus said, smiling, tears remaining unshed as he blinked them away and lifted a finger to Alec's lips. "Don't apologise. You just catch me off guard, sometimes."

Alec kissed Magnus' finger lightly. "I only say what I mean."

"I know." Magnus slipped his hand around to press along the length of Alec's cheek. "That's why it moves me so much."

"So we're good?" Alec asked, voice merely a whisper.

A little laugh escaped from between Magnus' lips, and he shook his head, smiling. "I should be asking you that, darling. Yes, we're good."

Rather than reply verbally, Alec eased Magnus' glass out of his hand, set both down on the coffee table, and drew Magnus in for a kiss, slow and sweet and deep, tasting whiskey and lemonade in each other's mouths as they pressed closer, cupping each other's faces and pressing their chests together, until Alec was straddling Magnus' lap, kissing down his neck with a singular determination.

Magnus' hands roamed up and down his back, soft moans falling from his lips. It was lazy, unhurried, the both of them pressed close, fingers sinking into muscle and skin rubbing together as they traded leisurely kisses that made their toes curl and a fire burn low in their stomachs.

"Stay," Magnus breathed against his ear as their lips broke apart so they could pull in lungfuls of air. His hands slid up beneath Alec's shirt to trace over the smooth, warm skin of his back, and his nails scratched just slightly as he dragged them back down.

"For sex?" Alec asked, while his fingers splayed out across Magnus' stomach, having unbuttoned that flimsy shirt to get to all the layers of muscle that he'd spent an inappropriate amount of time exploring with his mouth the first time he'd taken Magnus' shirt off.

"If you want," Magnus said, moving a hand to press lightly at Alec's chest, halting his progress so they could see each other's faces. "But I just meant stay the night. I want to fall asleep with you and wake up with you. I want you to be the last thing I see tonight and the first thing I see tomorrow."

Alec felt his heart turn over. Magnus made him feel things he couldn't even begin to describe, but there was the eternal pressure of the media hanging over their heads like an axe waiting to fall. He cared about Magnus. He could see himself falling in love with Magnus, easily—he was probably on his way there already.

He just didn't know whether he could handle everything that came with him.

But he had to try. He couldn't lose this. Not without a fight.

"Okay," Alec said, gazing down at Magnus. "Okay." He bent to kiss him again, and whispered against his lips, "I want that too."

The sound Magnus let out made Alec's heart rate triple and his stomach twist with delirious happiness, and he poured it all into a kiss that made them both breathless, attempting to lock his uncertainties behind doors reinforced with everything he felt for this remarkable man.

***

5.

"Alec." A light knock sounded on the door of the photocopying room, and Alec looked up to see Luke standing in the doorway, a resigned expression on his face. "There's a woman waiting in 2C. She's adamant that she'll only make her statement to you."

Alec pulled a face as he fished his photocopies out of the printing tray. "Maybe I was just really, really lovely to her some other time." He heard Luke snicker, and grinned. "Is it urgent?"

"No," Luke said. "Mugging. Says her cell phone was taken. She doesn't look hurt, but she is a little...hysterical."

"Oh, good." Alec shook his head. "Thank you so much for landing me such a great case for the afternoon. You’re the best boss I could ask for."

"Lydia's your boss," Luke said, whacking him smartly on the shoulder with a soft plastic folder of reports. "But damn straight I'm the best. You've got nothing to do this afternoon."

Alec quirked an eyebrow. Luke rolled his eyes.

"Don't go round making those _there's nothing straight about me_ jokes in my precinct, Lightwood," he said, pointing a finger at him as he began to walk back out. "The only acceptable forms of humour in here are dad jokes and rude Trump impersonations!"

"You'd get on unnecessarily well with my brother," Alec told him, and he meant Max, but really, he thought, he could have been referring to Jace, too. "Snide comments about Mike Pence?"

"Those are obligatory."

He ditched his papers on his desk before jogging down the stairs with the appropriate forms and a pen, bracing himself for an unpleasant interaction.

The woman in question seemed to recognise him the moment he appeared. Her eyes flitted across to his, and she smiled. Huh. Maybe he really had dealt with her before, and left some sort of impression. The idea was bizarrely flattering.

"I'm Detective Lightwood," Alec said, giving her a small, but genuine, smile. "Would you be able to tell me what happened?"

The woman glossed over the incident fairly quickly, detailing events only when Alec pressed her a little more. Normally, he wouldn't, but she didn't seem very upset, and something in his gut was telling him that there was something... _off_.

"You'll excuse my rudeness," she said, with a small self-deprecating laugh, "but you are the man who was in that photo, right? With Magnus Bane?"

Alec stiffened. "Ma'am, with all due respect, I'm not here to discuss my personal life."

"So you are," she said, smiling victoriously. "I thought so. What's it like?"

"This conversation is completely irrelevant to your case. Please—"

"What attracted you more? The money, the abs, or the celebrity status?"

Alec choked as he pulled out a statement form, and stared at her with wide, horrified eyes. Was this woman for real?

"I beg your pardon?"

"Oh, come on." She laughed again. "You can say. There's no way a cop just happens to date someone like Magnus Bane. That's like me dating Matt Bomer. In my dreams."

Alec couldn't help raising a cool eyebrow at that, distinctly unimpressed by her comparison. "I was under the impression that Matt Bomer is gay," he said, "and married. So, no, it's not really like that at all."

"Touché," she said, that infuriating little smile not leaving her face. "Thank you, Detective Lightwood. You've been very helpful."

With that, she stood, ignoring the paperwork laying on the table ready for her to fill in to press charges against whoever had mugged her, and walked out, letting the door to the room swing shut behind her.

Alec stared after her, thrown. What the hell was that about?

***

Magnus was fuming when he opened the door to his condo to let Alec in. Alec didn't think he'd ever seen Magnus angry like that.

"I am going to kill her," Magnus vowed, as Alec toed off his shoes. "Whoever the hell she is, I am going to expose her for the fraudulent, despicable creature she is, and she will never publish another article in her life."

Alec swallowed. He knew what Magnus was talking about. Two days after his odd encounter with the woman claiming to have been mugged at the police station, an article had appeared in circulation on the Internet, claiming to expose Alec for the horrific gold-digger he was.

Apparently, Magnus had seen it. He looked on the verge of committing murder.

"Forget it," Alec said, shaking his head. "It's done. It's out. There's nothing you or I can do about it."

"Bullshit there isn't," Magnus told him, eyes flashing with anger. "I refuse to let some cowardly journalist ruin your professional reputation. Do you really want this to be what comes up when people Google you?"

"It's not like I have any control over it."

Magnus raised his eyebrows. "You do. _I_ do." Magnus softened his voice, stepping towards Alec and reaching out to grasp his hands. "I have a radio interview in a few days. They're bound to ask me about this. You need to tell me what you're okay with me saying, and what you want me to keep quiet."

"Say whatever you think you should," Alec said. "I don't have any experience with this."

"Okay." Magnus watched him worriedly. "If you're sure."

"Yeah. Totally."

It was the first time he’d lied to Magnus, and it made him feel sick.

***

Magnus texted him to tell him when the radio interview was—which station, when it would be replayed, where he could find it online if he was swamped with work and couldn’t watch it. He’d promised Alec a hundred times that he’d be the pinnacle of discretion, that he understood Alec’s desire for private things to remain private, that he’d squash the rumours but reveal nothing else about Alec’s life.

Really, he was being wonderful about it. Alec knew it had been unreasonable to expect to be able to date Magnus without people wanting to know about him, eventually. And Magnus was doing his best. Magnus always did his best.

Sometimes, Alec didn’t know why Magnus tried so hard. He was certain there were many people around who’d be more than eager to date Magnus, without piling on the pressure by making unrealistic demands about privacy and the media and never being noticed by anyone.

This would probably be the moment Magnus thought that, perhaps, their relationship wasn’t worth all this.

“Alec!”

Alec jumped and turned to look at Maia from over the back of the sofa. She had her eyebrows raised, and held a bottle of beer in each hand.

“Yeah, sorry, what?”

Maia rolled her eyes and tossed him a bottle. “Stop mooching, Lightwood. Your boyfriend’s radio interview is being rerun in ten minutes. If you haven’t already watched it. Which I know you haven’t, because I’ve had the displeasure of working with you for five years.”

Normally, Alec would have quipped back at her. He’d known Maia since they were both in college, working together first in a coffee shop and then in the same precinct, once they’d both qualified. They hadn’t always liked each other - in fact, the opposite - but somewhere along the way they’d become unlikely friends.

But, friends or not, Alec couldn’t find the enthusiasm to say anything intelligent in rebuttal.

“Okay, really.” Maia sat down next to him, her voice taking on a tone of uncharacteristic gentleness. Alec was sure she usually reserved that for her girlfriend. “What’s going on?”

Alec exhaled heavily, dropping his forearms onto his knees with his beer bottle hanging loosely between his fingers. “Magnus.”

“Why? Because he’s in London for a couple of days?”

Alec snorted. “No. Because of this interview. The article. Everyone...gossiping. People knowing things about me. I just... God, Maia, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Maia sat back a little and appraised him with an odd sort of look in her eyes. “Maybe you’re overestimating this slightly. Yes, of course, he’s _Magnus Bane_ , they’re going to gossip about his relationship now, when it’s shiny and new, and he’s got a crazily obsessed bunch of hardcore fans. But he’s not Beyoncé. Yet.”

“I know that. Of course I do. It’s just... Do you think maybe we’re too different?”

Maia smiled at him. “In terms of what? Your dress sense? Your skin colour? The number of zeros in your bank account? Your Instagram followers? How many nights a week you like to go out? What angle are you going for, here?”

“Thanks,” Alec said, glaring at her. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“No, you complete idiot!” Maia smacked him over the head with a magazine Magnus had left on Alec’s poor, minute excuse for a coffee table the last time he’d been there. “You’re different, you and Magnus, but you’re not _too_ different. You’re only too different if you’re so different you don’t like each other. But you’re absolutely besotted, and he must be too, if he’s about to defend your honour to the whole world.”

“I don’t want him to have to defend my honour,” Alec muttered. “I’m a cop.”

Maia scoffed. “Oh, stop it. Save the _I am man_ for someone else. Let Magnus be a good boyfriend without getting sensitive about your masculinity.”

“I hate you.”

“I doubt that.” Maia patted his knee. “You haven’t listened to the interview, have you?”

“No. I’m not going to. I... I don’t know.” He took a swig of his beer. “I don’t want to hear it. I’m thinking maybe I should delete all my social media, too, just so I’m not tempted to look at it.”

“Alright.” Maia leant back against the arm of the sofa and pulled her legs up onto the cushions. “You do whatever makes you happy. But for what it’s worth, it was a fucking good interview.”

Alec smiled a little. “Of course it was. He did it.”

***

+1.

**[From: Magnus Bane, 21:32]**

**I just picked up my bag, I’m heading home now. Do you want to grab coffee tomorrow? xx**

Alec smiled faintly down at the text from where he was sitting in his car, windows rolled up. He still wasn’t entirely sure whether this was a terrible idea - it wasn’t like any of his doubts had magically evaporated over the two days since he’d crapped on to Maia about them - but he just wanted to see Magnus. Even if they weren’t going to work out, even if they talked things through and called it quits—he wanted to see him.

**[From: Alec Lightwood, 21:33]**

**Sounds fun x**

**[From: Magnus Bane, 21:33]**

**Can I call you when I get home?**

Alec didn’t reply, instead setting his phone down atop his dashboard and tapping his fingertips against the steering wheel.

A handful of minutes passed in relative silence, save for the steady, exhausted bustle of the airport. Travellers dragging their suitcases around, staff rushing about with harried expressions, the faint whir of planes taking off from the runway.

“Not that I don’t appreciate the lift, but I didn’t book a taxi.”

The sound of the voice Alec had so missed for the last three days drifted through the air. Alec smiled to himself, even as his heart pounded and stuttered with worry. God, he was so gone for this man.

The somewhat bored voice of Magnus’ security detail replied, “S’not a taxi.”

Alec turned to look out of the window just as Magnus came into view. He rolled down the window, and grinned at the way Magnus paused mid-step when he saw Alec’s car. Then, as he leant out of the window to smile sheepishly at his boyfriend, Magnus’ entire face lit up, and he dashed across the few metres between them.

“Alexander!” He stopped by the driver’s door, confusion furrowing his brow but something pleased shining in his eyes. “I didn’t— What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to pick you up. Surprise you. I was just...too shy to go in and make a spectacle.”

Fondness turned Magnus’ expression soft, and he reached out to brush his fingers against Alec’s stubble-roughened cheek through the window. “You’re always out here surprising me.”

“In good ways, I hope?”

Which was, of course, Alec’s stilted way of checking that Magnus didn’t mind that he’d turned up at the airport unannounced to pick him up.

A smile tipped up one corner of Magnus’ mouth. “The best.”

Alec couldn’t resist. He leant out of the window to press a soft kiss to Magnus’ lips, craning his neck to reach. The flex of Magnus’ fingers communicated his surprise, but he made a quiet, happy noise in the back of his throat as he returned Alec’s kiss. He dipped down to create an easier angle, the hand that had been resting on the handle of his suitcase reaching up to cup Alec’s neck.

It became more involved than what Alec had been going for, but when they pulled apart, he couldn’t help the way his mouth curved upward. Magnus’ eyes remained closed for a moment, eyelashes fluttering as though savouring their kiss. Then he looked at Alec, and Alec’s breath caught.

“Surprising me,” Magnus said, touching the backs of his fingers to Alec’s jaw before he withdrew. “All the time.”

Alec shrugged. “Cat’s out of the bag now, right?”

Uncertainty flickered across Magnus’ face, and Alec cursed himself. “Alexander—”

“I haven’t watched it,” Alec blurted out, because apparently he thought that at an airport after Magnus had been on an eight hour flight was the right moment to have that conversation. “Or, listened to it. The interview.”

“Right.” Magnus, if anything, only looked less sure of himself. “Okay. But you’re...here.”

“Yeah. I— I don’t know, Magnus. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what _we’re_ doing. I feel so confused, and I missed you so much and all I wanted was to see you, but I’ve had all these doubts ever since we met, and they haven’t just magically gone away, and—”

“Hey.” Sadness tainted the faint smile that flitted across Magnus’ mouth. “I understand. I’m a lot to get used to. And you’re not obligated to...get used to it at all.”

Alec shook his head, desperate for Magnus to understand. Even if he didn’t really understand himself.

“No, Magnus, that’s– that’s not what I meant.”

“I know what you meant,” Magnus said, softly, because of course he did. Because Magnus spoke the language of Alec so well. But sometimes Alec thought that maybe Magnus’ translations were muddled by his own insecurities. “Darling, I’m so happy to see you, and I’m beyond grateful for the lift home, but I think you should listen to it before we talk about this.”

Alec swallowed. “I don’t know if I’m ready to hear it.”

“Then don’t. But we can’t have this conversation if you don’t know what I said. And what they said. Because I know you think that people knowing about this relationship is going to lead to a thousand awful, horrible people saying awful, horrible things, but not all of the media is like that. Some journalists - some people - are going to be on our side.”

“I know that,” Alec said, with a sigh. “Intellectually, I know that. It’s just...scary. Even people with good intentions gossip.”

“I know. I’ll put my case in the trunk and we can drive back, and then you can decide what you want to do, okay?”

“Okay.”

***

Magnus invited Alec in when they pulled up outside his building. Alec considered refusing, considered going home and holing himself up in his room to listen to the interview - or to chicken out and _not_ listen to it - but then his mouth made the decision for him.

“Can I listen to it here?”

Magnus paused, midway through lifting his suitcase up the steps into the foyer. He blinked at Alec; Alec was distracted by the way Magnus’ biceps were bulging against the seams of his shirt.

“The interview?”

“Yeah.”

“I... Yes, if you want to. I— You can listen to it while I unpack and have a shower, if you like. It’s not that long. At least, not the bit you’ll want to hear.”

Alec smiled faintly at him. “Haven’t you worked out by now that I want to hear everything to do with you?”

Dark eyes widening, Magnus said, “Not the bad things, I hope.”

Alec shrugged. “There aren’t any bad things. Not to me.”

Magnus was quiet for a moment. He shook his head a little, as though to clear water from his ears, and went to key in the code to unlock the front door.

Upstairs, Magnus gestured for Alec to make himself at home. Alec sat down on the sofa - which probably cost more by itself than his entire apartment - and pulled out his phone. It had already connected to Magnus’ wifi.

The sound of the shower starting up reverberated through the loft. As he didn’t have any headphones with him, he turned the volume up on his phone and hit play on the recording Magnus had messaged him a link to.

He let his hand fall into his lap, and tilted his head back against the soft cushion of Magnus’ sofa. As the sounds of the interview began to fall through the speakers, Alec let his eyes close, imagining Magnus looking absolutely beautiful in a radio station, sitting across from a presenter with that easy expression in his eyes that made him so easy to talk to.

“ _So, Magnus, I feel I have to ask you something, if only so you can clear up some of these ridiculous rumours_ ,” the presenter said, laughing a little as he spoke. He had a British accent - which Alec supposed shouldn’t have been notable, as Magnus had been in London - and he sounded just as friendly and laid back asking Magnus about this as he had asking about Magnus meeting Madonna at an award show.

“ _There are so many rumours, it’s hard to keep track. Most of them aren’t true_ ,” Magnus said, and his voice was nonchalant, but Alec could hear the hard edge to his consonants that hadn’t been there minutes before.

“ _I get so many guests come on and tell me that. Where do these people get this stuff?_ ”

“ _Your guess is as good as mine_ ,” Magnus said, lightly. “ _Go on, then, rumours_.”

“ _I almost don’t want to ask, but you said pre-show that you wanted to take this opportunity to clear this up, right? Just so nobody thinks I’ve turned into_ that _kind of interviewer._ ”

Magnus laughed, and Alec smiled faintly. He almost liked this guy.

“ _So there was the mystery man in that photo of you two kissing, who the world fairly quickly decided was called Alec. Is that right?_ ”

“ _It is, yes._ ”

“ _And then this...well, this crazy article came out, and I really don’t know where this has all come from. I don’t even know where to start with this! It says he’s a detective in New York, is that bit right?_ ”

“ _That bit’s right._ ”

“ _And the rest of it... Maybe we should just, like, burn it?_ ”

Magnus laughed again. “ _Please do._ ”

“ _It’s all rubbish?_ ”

“ _Completely_.”

“ _Alright, thank god for that, what a surprise. So what’s your relationship actually like? Tell us while I just google the author of this article so I can send her a spider in the mail._ ”

Alec could hear the smile in Magnus’ voice as he began talking again.

“ _It’s really quite normal. We met at a bar - which I promise was much less shady than it sounds - and then I spent a month making a complete fool out of myself flirting with him while Alec acted like he was completely oblivious, and then we had a bit of an incident, and then we started dating. And four and a bit months later, here we are._ ”

“ _Four months?_ ” The presenter sounded surprised. Alec was surprised, too—because the guy hadn’t picked Magnus up on the _incident_. Alec assumed Magnus meant the Pandemonium incident. “ _Blimey, how did you keep this under wraps for four months? Or three. Whenever the kissing photo came out_.”

“ _We were careful. Alec knew who I was, and he didn’t want his face plastered across trashy tabloids. I don’t blame him_.”

“ _No, mate, fair enough. So he’s a normal lad, he’s not a gold digger..._ ”

“ _Definitely not. He works so hard. He’s an incredibly good person. I haven’t actually been in a relationship for a while, and being with Alec is so nice. This relationship feels like such a good thing. He’s so good to me. And he makes me happy._ ”

“ _Aw, well. What more can you want? Is it love?_ ”

“ _It could be._ ”

Alec didn’t need to listen to the rest. He hit pause and threw his phone on the sofa next to him. The sight of Magnus’ elegant fireplace met his eyes when he blinked them open, and he found his gaze roaming across the photographs sitting along the mantelpiece. Ragnor, Raphael, Catarina, a woman with straight brown hair and a soft smile that Alec didn’t know, and the only photograph Magnus had of his mother.

He wondered whether, one day, he might sit up there.

_Is it love?_

_It could be._

Maybe... Maybe that was why Magnus put up with all Alec’s shit, and entertained all his stupid hang ups. Maybe that was why he hadn’t rolled his eyes and lost Alec’s number the moment Alec had panicked about being seen kissing. Maybe that was why Magnus was always so kind about all of this.

Maybe that was why, despite his worries, Alec hadn’t run a mile. Because maybe it could be for him, too.

“Alexander?”

Alec turned to look at Magnus over the back of the sofa. He was standing in the open doorway of his bedroom, dressed in a navy silk bathrobe, barefoot, hair still damp from the shower. There was no makeup on his face; it made him look softer around the edges, being so undone, so bare.

“I listened to it,” Alec said, and there was a slight rasp in his voice that hadn’t been there earlier.

Magnus remained unmoving, save for the way his shoulders stiffened at Alec’s words. “And?”

“You really think all that?”

It hadn’t been what Alec was going to say. He felt his eyes widen a little when the words slipped out. Confusion bled across Magnus’ face: apparently it wasn’t what he’d expected to hear, either.

“What do you mean? Which bit?”

“That it– That this, us, feels good. That I...make you happy.”

Magnus brow furrowed. “Of course I really think that. Have I ever made you think you don’t make me happy?”

“No,” Alec admitted. “I suppose it’s my own insecurities.”

At that, Magnus’ expression softened. He stepped closer and reached a hand over the back of the sofa to brush a hand through Alec’s hair. Reflexively, Alec leant into the touch, letting his eyes close as Magnus’ fingers tangled in knots and eased them gently through. He inhaled deeply.

“We all have those, darling,” Magnus murmured, hand shifting so he could brush the pad of his thumb against Alec’s cheek. “But of course this feels good. And of course you make me happy.”

“You make me happy, too,” Alec said, tilting his head as he opened his eyes and looked up at Magnus. “I’ve never felt this happy in a relationship with someone.”

That seemed to catch Magnus off-guard. His lips parted a little, blinks turning slow, cat-like, and he remained silent, fingers stilling against Alec’s face.

God, Magnus shouldn’t have looked so surprised. Hadn’t Alec made it clear? Had he never told Magnus how absolutely blissful it felt to be with him? How, even when things went wrong, it felt worth it for everything else? How seeing Magnus was the best part of his week? Did he really not know?

“I thought...” Magnus trailed off. Swallowed. Hesitated. “I thought the media situation was getting to you.”

“It was,” Alec admitted, and reached up to slide his fingers between Magnus’. He squeezed his hand firmly. “But I’ll learn how to deal with it. _We_ will. This relationship means a lot to me. _You_ mean a lot to me. I’m sorry if I didn’t let you know that. I know that there are a hundred things that are going to make this difficult, but I want to work through them with you.”

“Me too. God, me too. I like you more than I’ve liked anyone for a long time.”

Alec smiled at him. “Me too.”

“And the interview–” Magnus gestured to Alec’s phone with his free hand “–what did you think?”

“I haven’t listened to all of it,” Alec admitted. “Just up until you stopped talking about us. Everything you said was perfect. And also– Magnus, you do such amazing things, you know that? Everything you’ve built, your company, your professional reputation—it’s amazing. Really.”

Magnus huffed out a quiet little laugh. “Charmer.”

“I– I need to tell you something.”

Magnus nodded, expression turning serious as he dropped his hand from Alec’s cheek and went to twine his fingers through Alec’s instead.

“You can tell me anything.”

“I...haven’t been sure about our relationship since you asked me out. That’s why I wanted to take things so slowly. I mean– God, this isn’t coming out right.” Alec let out a frustrated noise. “I really like you. I care about you. And I have since the beginning. I was always sure about _you_.”

“I do understand that I can be a lot to get used to,” Magnus said, and Alec had to force himself not to slam his head against the back of the sofa, because _no, no, no_ , that wasn’t what he meant. That was the opposite of what he meant. Why couldn’t he say it right?

“No, you’re not,” Alec said, more fiercely than he’d intended to. “Being with you is so easy. The issue was never you. The issue was me. My relationship with myself and my insecurities and my hang ups. My fears about not being good enough for you, or to be seen with you, or to be scrutinised as your boyfriend. But I’m sure now. I’m sure about us. I’m sure about myself. I mean, I’m never going to like any of this publicity, but I’m sure that it’s worth it. That _we’re_ worth it. And I think I can learn how to cope with it.”

Magnus smiled at him, one of those tiny smiles that barely touched his lips but made his eyes crinkle and his cheeks lift.

“That’s good,” Magnus said, “because I’m sure about us, too.”

Alec bit down on his cheek to prevent an idiotic grin breaking out across his face. “Oh yeah?”

“Oh yeah,” Magnus said, and leant in to kiss him, slow and firm and undeniably certain.

And Alec kissed him right back.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this one! Thank you so much for reading, and let me know what you thought!
> 
> You can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/lucysrebelheart?lang=en) and on [Tumblr](http://notcrypticbutcoy.tumblr.com) and you can find the masterlist for this series’ order [here](http://notcrypticbutcoy.tumblr.com/post/183361586466/celebritymagnus-au-notcrypticbutcoy-mortal)
> 
> Much love,  
> Lu <3


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